This article is a follow-up to Eating Disorders: Anorexia My daughter has and she will not eat. If you have not read it, I would encourage you to read the first one. You need the basic relationship style, I am speaking in this article in order to make effective in the position to what I share with you here.
First, learn how to truly in line with what they think and feel, they are reflected back to her and she is more likely to try harder to respond to your expectations, to the food, although it is still difficult for them to do so. When she feels are respected, heard and understood, they will do to support how your words better versus controlling.
They are the foundation we talked about above, now you can tackle the real question is whether they are not eating enough. Let us take an example. She wants to put the food on her plate, she is ready to eat. You can say to her, "I am your desire to respect those decisions for themselves, and when you choose in a position to healthy amounts and types of foods that you can do it. Until then I will make those decisions." No arguments just state it and move with the food and other entertainment.
She manages to grab a bite or two, moving the food around on your plate so it seems they have actually eaten more than she has and says: "I'm full." May be your answer to this: "You do a good job. You need to eat more." New impetus and, in fact, then the conversation around the table.
You can start to get upset at this point or they may try to eat a bit more. Its goal is to remain calm, regardless of their response. Stay in the deed with her. If you can say, "Just do the best you can." Then back to the conversation. Other answers may be: "I know this is difficult, scary for you, it makes you angry, and afraid to eat more, etc." So you expose what you believe they might think or feel, and stay calm.
So during the meal you communicate clear expectations in listening and supports them emotionally. You do not believe in negotiations and had long talks, but say only what they do and then distracted by the inclusion of family in the discussion outside the eating disorder.
Think about how you dealt with her or another child at 4 or 5 years old. "Mommy, I'm done, I do not want anymore." She said: "Do you eat a few bites of peas and 2 more potatoes." They were calm and explained exactly the expectation.
Her daughter has decreased and is acting like a little child. You still have to support her emotionally, as she is a teenager, but as you can express your expectations to be very similar to dealing with a younger child.
The most important things are to be quiet, solid, and then distracted promotion. Perhaps it will bring a new family routine, a joke book on the table. Or family member tells the stories of their days, which means "The best thing that happened to me today ..." I used to hate it when my mom is not such things, but it does speak to us.
This will give you entry into thinking about how they react to the meals. Consider yourself ahead of time what they say and how you can respond. You know them and have heard all their excuses. Plan for them and react accordingly.
It will not change everything overnight. When she sees that you meet react in this way at every meal, and you are with your approach, she begins to eat more. It can be very slow and gradual, but when she eats a little bit more here and there, you can begin your expectations for the amount she eats increased. Start small and build on success.
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